How can You Engage? Ask Questions! – Introduction to Triangle Tops

Pretty much anywhere you go, people will respond to intelligent (‘I have been thinking about…’) questions.

So what is this website about? Here is a description I just wrote for the
Amazon Affiliate Program.  I have been thinking about “Triangle Tops!” – an extension of Murray Bowen’s three person triangle.

‘A Triangle’ is a “mental health” device that can reduce tension
or add tension to your life.

You can enrich your thinking about any 2 subjects, – you and another person, another thing or another topic – by viewing them as the ‘base’ of the triangle.

Tension flowing between the two people or things can be modified by considering a third ‘top’ element. By keeping this ‘Top of the Triangle’ element in mind, you can have better control of your thinking and ultimately your behavior. These elements can be very abstract (as in the list below) or very specific (as in I really want to buy that thing now, so I can…)

What are the important things in your life, today?

• Your Health – weight control, fasting, exercise
• Your Values – what you talk about and teach your children
• Your Technology and Devices – to make life easier
• Your Money – how you can run a business
• Your Education –  What are your educational priorities today.

We will be discussing things that are on the ‘Top’ of my mind these days.

Say it more frequently, "Love you!" … to you! – Bowen on 'Self Differentiation'

Murray Bowen’s early training involved schizophrenic families where people were “fused” into sickness – where they lacked “self differentiation”, where they could not stand up and be “different” and even leave if they had to.

One part of his 8 part mental health theory was this ‘confidence to be yourself,’ where you …

“can stay calm and rationally ‘clear-headed’ enough to distinguish “thinking” rooted in a careful assessment of the facts from “thinking” clouded by emotion.” <– Wikipedia

At some point he got even a little brutal about this, strongly encouraging you to "love yourself" as well as "your neighbor." And that self love will almost always include taking care of your health (your oxygen mask on first.)

Wikipedia goes on with an overview of his theory …
"Confident in their own thinking, they can either support another's viewpoints without becoming wishy-washy; or, they can reject another's opinions without becoming hostile with them, or passively disconnected from them. This is especially relevant to the family of origin, and as we grow and develop maturity, also relevant to to extended family members, friends, or associates."

So say it more frequently, "Love you!" … to you!